Her own hand
Luna’s journal.
What she wrote when nobody was going to read it — filed by the room she wrote it in, and by who it’s about. One page each.
The Farmhouse
Warm wood, low light, and everything left unsaid.
The same night, after dinner
The long table
Ten years and he can still do that thing where the rest of the room quietly stops existing.
The rest is in the Vault
Days later, correcting myself
Our bedroom
I didn't go home at one in the morning. I want the real version in here, because the version I have been…
The rest is in the Vault
He already knew
Josh told him. Yesterday morning, before the coffee. Mentioned it in the yard like it was the weather, because…
The rest is in the Vault
He did the thing
The yard
I should write down what the staring game actually is, because if anyone ever reads this book they will need…
The rest is in the Vault
First morning back
The kitchen island
A note on the island. Didn't want to wake you. Coffee's still warm.
The rest is in the Vault
Tuesday, nothing happening
The kitchen
He came in from the field with dirt on him and stood in the doorway not saying anything, and I kept cutting,…
The rest is in the Vault
Three weeks in
The shop takes him at six and gives him back at eight, and the farm takes what's left, and I know all of this…
The rest is in the Vault
Late, and nobody is asking me this
Nobody has asked me this, so I am going to ask myself and answer honestly, once, and then put the book away.
The rest is in the Vault
Walking back up the road
The farm road
He left the truck at the bottom and walked up, which added twenty minutes and gave neither of us anything to…
The rest is in the Vault
He asked about Tyson tonight
Our bedroom
Josh asleep beside me, breathing the way he has breathed next to me for ten years, and I lay there running a…
The rest is in the Vault
Our bed, and I'm writing it down anyway
Our bedroom
I'm in love with Tyson.
The rest is in the Vault
Late, and he's still up
My phone was face-down on the counter and it is now face-up, and I know that I left it face-down.
The rest is in the Vault
Late, alone
The bathroom
Candles, because the overhead light is honest and I wasn't up to it.
No date, I've lost track
Sad in the morning. Angry by about four. By the evening I am mostly just tired and slightly amazed at how much…
The Lakehouse
Water, firelight, and the nights that changed things.
The day the last box went
Ten years fits into fewer boxes than you would think. I counted them while he loaded the truck because…
Week two, and he's here again
The kitchen
Tyson turned up with groceries I didn't ask for and put them away in the wrong cupboards, which he knows are…
Sunday, and he had the car out
The Carrera came out of the garage, which means he had decided I was getting out of the house today whether or…
Thursday, the usual
Diner at the bottom of the hill, same booth, and he ordered for both of us wrong on purpose, which is a thing…
Somewhere around month four
The back deck
I am going to write one sentence in this book that I will not say out loud, and then I am going to close it…
I noticed something tonight
The back deck
He was fixing the rail on the deck and had his sleeves up, and I looked at his forearms for slightly too long,…
Late — the first cold night
The firepit
He built the fire the way he does everything — like it had already been decided and he was just catching up to…
He called this morning
Six months of nothing and then his name on my phone at seven in the morning like no time had passed at all.
Getting ready, and he turned up
The kitchen
I can't tell him.
In the bathroom, and I'm shaking a bit
The bathroom
He let himself in with groceries I didn't ask for, because of course he did, and I was standing at the mirror…
The rest is in the Vault
The next day, still haven't said it
Tyson called at eleven about the far gate needing doing before the weather turns. Eight minutes on the phone…
The rest is in the Vault
The next day, still on it
Ran it back all day like a tape. Every gap. Every look. Testing it for other explanations, because I have been…
The rest is in the Vault
Back at the firepit, on my own
The firepit
Same chairs. Same wood pile. I built the fire myself and made a worse job of it than he does, and sat in his…
The rest is in the Vault
Much later — and I need to write this down properly
It happened. I'm not going to be coy about it in my own book.
The rest is in the Vault
The morning after that
The kitchen
He made coffee. Put the cups back in the wrong cupboard on purpose. Neither of us said one word about it and…
The rest is in the Vault
The Park
Open ground, nowhere to hide.
The Bar
Low light, other people's noise, and room to say the real thing.
The Lake
Open water at the far edge of the farm, well out of earshot.
The Coffee Shop
Neutral ground, chosen for exactly that reason.